Utterly puerile post ahead. I was just in one of those silly moods… Six-year-old daughter, lately with a strong potty-humour tendency, will do that to you. So with that forewarning in mind…
I was rummaging around in the back of Freezersaurus yesterday and was quite surprised to encounter this:
I am deeply, deeply disturbed. And shocked. And a bit violated. Cover your shame, Freezersaurus! Now, I’ll freely admit, penises are great. Hilarious floppy bits to the common person, and fascinating adaptations to the scientist; e.g., duck penises, alligator penises… I’ll never forget the time my invertebrate zoology teacher showed a video of barnacle penises (immobile animals that need to reproduce by copulation– you do the math). But I digress. I was conveying my disturbed feelings about this blatant ICE PENIS in my freezer. Clearly Freezersaurus was either very happy to see me; perhaps titillated by all my rummaging around; or I need to get out more and get my mind out of the anatomical gutter. C’mon, look closer:
In any other place, it might just be an icicle. But here, under the baleful Eye-of-Sauron-like gaze of Freezersaurus’s fan unit, it can be only one thing. Penisicle. I’m not sure what to do with it now. It was such an awkward moment, I had to back off and leave The Freezer to its privacy. Not sure if I can go back there, especially not alone.
My therapy sessions start Monday. I’ll keep you posted on my progress. In the meantime: My gift to you: another emanation from The Freezer; because the last Mystery Dissection pic was too hard and then too easy after a not-so-subtle nudge…
What's In John's Freezer? 
Oh, John… *clutches brow and shales head*
‘Shakes’, not ‘shales’. Bah.
Shaling one’s head could be quite painful!
Indeed it would!
Is it possible to disable having to login to WordPress/Gravatar in order to make comments? It insists I have an account already but I never signed up and I’m having a hard time recovering the credentials for this mysterious “account”.
Hey, I’m going to guess it’s an ostrich penis.
if that thing gets any bigger, your freezer may start to have other issues…
You put this one up because I commented last time, didn’t you? OK, penis in preputial sheath, probably a perissodactyl. I’m guessing a donkey or pony, because the surviving skin doesn’t look like it came from a rhino or a tapir.
Wow people actually commented on the Mystery Pic! I was beginning to think people were not getting that far down (too silly!) and this post was going to go Where Dumb Posts Go to Die.
Nick, I will look into the login thing. That may be a WordPress default setting or bug I can’t change.
Colleen, yeah I am a bit concerned about the welfare of The Freezer. We shall see!
Diane, haha, no, I think this was 90% coincidence prompted by the penisicle encounter, although your research certainly came to mind.
I’ll welcome guesses for the rest of the day or so and then do the reveal. Why can’t it be a tongue, though? Reminds me of the Rolling Stones’ “lips and tongue” logo from the Sticky Fingers album…
Oooooo — I think Nick’s on to something. Those “hairs” do look a lot more like broken feathers, and I can see a sulcus spermaticus. Note to self: do not play this game on an iPod. Tricky anatomy needs a larger screen.
Well done, Nick and also Diane! It is indeed the phallus of a ostrich; a 130kg brute whom the farmer said was Britain’s largest ostrich at the time. Unfortunately, that brute got kicked in the head by another male, so he became familiar with my freezer.
Coming up next: pathologies galore, with some pretty amazing pics!
[…] in order to get anything from inside; cue health-and-safety paperwork nightmares. And yes, the ice penis is now gone. End of an […]
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